My bluebonnet baby at 6 months

 

Today you are 3.  And somehow, inexplicably, tomorrow, you will be 4.  Another year passed.

It’s so cliche for a mother to lament how quickly her child grows up.  But of course, we all can’t help but do it.

Tomorrow you will be 4.  Who knows what four will bring?  I know that four will bring you a new brother (even though you’re still requesting a sister).  Four will bring you new adventures, new skills, new experiences.  I hope that four brings you more self control, more self awareness, joy and happiness.  I hope that four doesn’t bring any loss of your childhood innocence.

Sometimes it seems like for every new skill you develop; for every new thing you do that makes me proud, I also lose a little bit of that babyness.  It may be learning how to pronounce a word correctly, or the way your body leans up and loses that last bit of baby chub.  So what I ask, dear son of mine, is that as you’re growing up, please don’t grow *too* fast.  Please still hold my hand and pick flowers for me and ask me to sit next to you on the couch.  Because though I love to watch you grow, my mommy heart just can’t take if it happens too quickly.

You are still my little boy.  My wonderful first born that made me a mother and continues to bring me forward into uncharted territory….into stages I’ve never been through and challenges I’ve never experienced. Life has truly never been the same since you entered my world and I am grateful for you, every day.

And tomorrow you will be 4.  So happy last day as a 3 year old, sweetie.  Stay my little boy just a while longer, won’t you?  I love you, my Matthew.

Mommy

Symptoms:  feeling ill pretty much all the time other than WHILE I am eating.  So basically, just eat all the time and I’m good right?  Exhaustion is worse.  Super sense of smell kicked in a couple days ago.  And everything smells bad. 

I am not sure how it is possible to feel sick and have cravings at the same time, but I do.  First I wanted Funfetti cupcakes, then I pondered chocolate ice cream and now it’s thoughts of macaroni and cheese.

Michael is so adorable.  His vocabulary is starting to pick up.  Just in the last week we’ve gotten:  baa, moo (sounds like boo), duck, quack, bye (sounds like baa), up.  He is loving his noisy animals lift the flap book and it seriously cracks me up when I ask him what a sheep says and he yells BAAAA or the cow and he yells BOOOO! 

He’s at that magical age where you can ask him to do something and he understands and many times he complies.  He will throw his diapers in the trash for me and he fetched his daddy for me tonight. 

Matthew’s latest thing is to ask “why?” about everything.  All. Day. Long. 

I am pretty excited about seeing his reaction to this pregnancy.  A couple weeks ago he saw a friend of mine who is 8 months pregnant and told her “your tummy is very big”.  She asked him what he thought was in her tummy and he said “I don’t know”, then paused and added, “a baby?”  She let him touch her belly and he just grinned and thought it was the coolest thing ever. 

So here we are.  6.5 weeks. 

Since I never went back and wrote my birth story or posted pictures (still need to do that!)  here are a couple photos of baby Michael.  One from his newborn photoshoot and one from his 12 month photoshoot.

I decided to go back to my RE for the first bit of pregnancy.  I had my hcg and progesterone drawn (progesterone 33, hcg 255), then redrawn two days later 9hcg 611).  Everything looks good based on that, so I was happy.  Yes, I did feel bad going to the fertility clinic with my 3 year old and 1 year old.  I asked them if I should find a sitter and they said it was okay to bring them.  The first day no one was in the office but the second day there were several couples, but no one seemed too bothered.  My RE came in and recognized me (I looked like mom of the year with my unwashed hair, glasses on and my kids still both in their jammies at 9:30 a.m., but hey, we all woke up late and I trucked it over there so I could get results back the same day).  He asked if I was there to show off the kids or if I was coming back?  I told him I had a surprise pregnancy and he seemed pleased.  He also got to meet Michael.  He asked how old he was and when I said 17 months he said “Yes, I can see how this pregnancy is a surprise!”

I felt a little sick right around the time I found out and then suddenly just normal.  I started feeling tired pretty much immediately and now, one day shy of 6 weeks, I am pretty exhausted.  I started feeling queasy again yesterday.  My husband is a trooper.  I was supposed to go grocery shopping today, but I did a lot of cooking and cleaning this morning and then felt sick after naptime.  Since he is flying out of state for a few days for work, he pretty much insisted on going to the store for me and taking the little guy (he prefers to take the bigger one as he is an easier shopping companion) because he didn’t want me to overdo it.

One minute I will feel excited about a new baby and the next I feel overwhelmed and worried about adding another child to our family, especially when Michael is still so little.  I just try to keep reminding myself that I am pretty lucky that I am having a 3rd, which I didn’t know if that would ever happen, and we didn’t even have to try!  I feel like I should be enjoying every moment though, since it is our last pregnancy/baby and it’s hard to do that when it’s such a shock.  Also:  I pretty much hate the first trimester.  And I SO want to soak in those newborn days once baby gets here and I’m afraid it will all pass in a blur with the busyness of 3 young children.  Such is life, huh?

I am such a slacker.  I meant to go back and update with Michael’s birth story and pictures and everything that has followed since.  Here he is, almost 17 months and I still haven’t.  His birth was amazing and he is my sweetie pie mama’s boy!  When I pick him up he pats my back just the way I pat his and he gives me sweet kisses almost any time I ask.  He has a bad temper.  When he signs “eat” he says “deet deet” and it is adorable.  He is much more calm and serious than Matthew.

I am also coming back to document something eventful…I AM PREGNANT!  Yup.  It was not planned at all and in fact, we were avoiding.  Just one time of not being careful and BAM, pregnant.  It just figures, huh?  I have felt for a long time that I most likely wanted a third child but I was not in the least feeling ready for it right now.  I tested yesterday at 13 dpo and spent the rest of the day freaking out.  In the long run, I know this will be a good thing.  David has told me I “owe him big time” since he only wanted two kids!

So here goes…as long as this works out, this will be our LAST pregnancy and our LAST baby, for sure.  So hopefully along the way I will enjoy this.  🙂

I am 4 weeks today.  Several days ago I felt “off” but thought nothing of it.  At 12 dpo I started worrying that I might be pregnant and started feeling physically ill just thinking about it.  Yesterday and today, my stomach definitely feels “off”.  Not sick and not even exactly queasy, just weird.  And I swear I already have to pee more often.

Welcome little baby, I wasn’t expecting this right now, but you are loved already!

How far along?  39 weeks

Baby is the size of a:  watermelon

Total weight gain/loss:  I gained 4 lb in one week!  Wow!  I was super surprised since I’ve had a cold and I thought I was eating less than normal.   So now I’m up 31.5 lb.  I guess my body has decided to pack it on now suddenly?  Looks like I’ll probably have about the same amount of gain as I did with Matthew.  I am totally fine with it, just so long as it’s going at least partly on ME and I don’t have a gigantic baby.  Midwife just said not to overdo the carbs and sweets and I’ll be fine.

Maternity clothes?  Yes, and they are getting tighter!

Sleep:  Doing about the same.  I wake up sometimes I think from a Braxton Hicks and feel very uncomfortable when I roll out of bed to go pee.  Today I have been super tired for some reason, despite an okay sleep at night and a nap.

Best moment this week:  Finally being able to breathe again now that my cold is mostly gone!

Movement:  Still moving fine, some movements can be painful, especially down where his head is.

Food cravings/aversions:   no one big craving and I’ve had several days where I feel a little queasy here and there

Belly Button in or out? Out, it’s kind of hard to even tell I HAVE a belly button

What I miss:  Not worry about WHEN I’m going to go into labor.  I am 39w2d and I had Matthew at 38w6d.  So since I’m past the point I had him, I keep wondering “is this it?” every time I start having a few contractions.

What I am looking forward to:   Having the baby!  I’m excited to meet him.  The only thing I wish was that we could be more decided on a name.

Weekly Wisdom:   A watched pot never boils.  ;o)

Milestones:  I am PAST the gestation at which I had Matthew.  Less than a week till my EDD.

Symptoms:  Braxton Hicks are happening quite a bit.  And then also some real contractions here and there, but nothing too intense OR regular.

Midwife visit last week:  Doing fine.  My pulse was a little fast at 92, but BP was great.  Baby is in a good position.  I can tell when he goes posterior so hopefully he will be easy to “flip” if he tries to get into that position in labor.  Really we have been over most everything important already.  My last schedule appointment is this next week and then I will additional ones as needed if I go past my EDD.

 

How far along?  38 weeks

Baby is the size of a:  watermelon

Total weight gain/loss:  up another 3 pounds at my last appt, yay for 3 lb in one week!  So that’s a total gain of 27.5.  I am pretty happy with that, maybe I will get up to 30!

Maternity clothes?  Yes

Sleep:  I still have insomnia at night.  I ditched the egg crate mattress (which was keeping my hips more comfy) because it’s just too hot.  The temp is set to 73 and yet I still feel so freaking hot!  This is foreign to me because I am usually pretty cold natured.

Best moment this week:   Last night I was watching a video on youtube on swaddling (wanted to brush up on the technique) and all of a sudden I could just see myself with my new baby and all of a sudden I felt READY  in a way that I haven’t until now.  :o)  I am not super anxious for him to come, but I will be happy when he does.

Movement:  He’s still moving plenty.

Food cravings/aversions:   nothing in particular, but I’ve been sick lately (more on that later)

Belly Button in or out? Out

What I miss:  Feeling well.  Ugh.  I am on day #5 of a cold (Matthew as well) and it SUCKS.  I really thought I’d be feeling better by now.  My main concern is wanting everyone in the house to be feeling good when baby arrives, so I guess I’m not *quite* ready for him until I can totally kick this cold.  Right now I’ve got stuffed up nose (and THAT certainly isn’t helping with sleep either, it’s horrible) and sore throat.  Matthew has a super runny nose and bad cough and has been as I said to David today “a bundle of misery”.  It could be worse, he’s just very whiny about everything because he doesn’t feel well and not sleeping near enough either.

What I am looking forward to:   Getting over this darn cold!  My mom coming soon and hopefully baby coming maybe just a liiiittle before his due date?  We’ll see!

Weekly Wisdom:   Houston.  Summer.  Pregnancy.   Alex, what are “3 things that should not be combined”?  Seriously!

Milestones:  2 weeks away from my due date.  Less than a week to the gestation I had Matthew at.

Symptoms:  Cold symptoms, blah.  Back hurts, hard to get in a comfy position sitting or laying down.  And did I mention I feel HOT?  Oh and right around when my cold first started (I didn’t think I was getting sick, I thought it was allergies), I had a day with quite a lot of Braxton Hicks after doing too much house cleaning.  I also think baby was posterior that day.  Anyway, I have been taking it more easy since then…I don’t want to take the chance of baby coming just yet!

Midwife visit a few days ago:  Everything is still going great.  My BP was up a little 124/70, but she said that’s likely because I’m not feeling well.  I was measuring 37.5, I think, so that was right on.  She said she still thinks baby is fairly small, 6ish pounds.  She also was feeling trying to figure out where he head was, it wasn’t lined quite up with my pelvis but more off to the right.  But after pushing around on him a little he did straighten his head back over towards the center.  I think he still has enough room to move around in there, even though I’m sure it’s more cramped.

 

Finally trying to finish playing catch up…months after the baby was born!  🙂

How far along?  37 weeks

Baby is the size of a:  watermelon!

Total weight gain/loss:  no new weight

Maternity clothes?  Yes

Sleep:  it’s taking even longer to fall asleep at night but I am still tired during the day.  I sure hope the insomnia goes away after baby gets here!

Best moment this week:   I got a double stroller off Craigslist for $15 so that was pretty cool!  And David and I got a date night.  We got dinner and then went for dessert (Blizards) at Dairy Queen and talked about baby names.

Movement:  Still moving a lot and I feel limbs more on my left side.

Food cravings/aversions:   fruit

Belly Button in or out? Out

What I miss:  Energy!  And I feel like if I do too much, I worry that baby might come too soon.  So I am trying not to overdo it.

What I am looking forward to:   Getting all the crap that I just ordered off Amazon, hah!  Seriously once all that comes in I feel like I will have all the “stuff” I need.  And then it’s just a matter of  finishing (well, David finishing) little projects and picking a name.  (We are down to 4 names now though!)

Weekly Wisdom:   ?

Milestones:  3 weeks from my due date!  At this point 37w3d, I am less than 2 weeks away from the gestation that I had Matthew at!  Kinda scary.

Symptoms:  I have felt kinda spacey a few times, hoping it’s just being tired.  Also I noticed that I have stretch marks on my belly this time!  But they are only on my left side.  I will have to make sure to take a picture.  I didn’t get them last time…or at least only a couple waaaay down low that I didn’t notice till after I gave birth.  So I will have to see if these new ones fade or not, or if they stick around.  And here I was thinking I was lucking out!

Finally trying to finish playing catch up…months after the baby was born! 
How far along?  36 weeks

Baby is the size of a:  honeydew melon

Total weight gain/loss:  Gained 1.5 pounds from last time so now I’m at 24.5 pounds total.  Not shabby, I would like to get up to 30 if I can!

Maternity clothes?  Yup!

Sleep:  same old stuff, I go to bed late, have trouble falling asleep and then I want to sleep in!  Sometimes I get to and sometimes not.  Still napping or trying to.

Best moment this week:   Got my maternity pics taken!  I did them with Matthew and David along as well so we got some family ones, some of David and I and then some of Matthew and I.  It was our first time taking pictures outdoors and I think we got some great shots.  They were taken by two mom friends, one just does it as a hobby and the other wants to do it professionally so she is doing it free right now for portfolio building.   I’ve only posted one on facebook so far and got TONS of compliments on it.  Really makes me enjoy this last bit of being pregnant in some ways because I feel like I am getting all this attention and people telling me how great I look.  It’s nice.  🙂  Once I have the baby, all the focus will be on him, rightfully so of course!  But I still enjoy this part for now, haha.

Movement:  Still active.  I think he has gone posterior a few times but then he does go back anterior.  Still mostly his butt on the right side and then I feel his little foot or something on my left side a lot.  When he pushes around down low sometimes it causes me to have that pain in my groin/upper leg.

Food cravings/aversions:   Sweets

Belly Button in or out? Out

What I miss:  I feel like I’ve been having less energy lately.  And like I WANT to get stuff done but then don’t really feel like putting out effort to do it.

What I am looking forward to:   Getting last minute stuff done.  Picking a name, ack!  We really need to have it narrowed down at the very least.

Weekly Wisdom:   ?

Milestones:  They wouldn’t stop labor now.  I go in for weekly midwife visits.

Symptoms:  Some emotional days.  Have to watch out for that, b/c anxiety could mean PPD later.  Since I think I had a little with Matthew I need to have David and other family keeping tabs.  Same old late pregnancy stuff, back pain, tired.  And man it is hard to get up off the floor if I sit down!

Midwife visit:  Went fine.  Baby was sticking his butt up in the air making my belly have a big point!  BP and all that is great.  I was measuring 35 cm but she said it’s normal to slow down at the end.  She still thinks baby is pretty small so I need to have him bake a bit longer, which is fine by me.  We talked about the birth plan.  David is feeling like a water birth would make him worry and since I had no problem pushing Matthew out, I plan to get out of the tub when it’s pushing time.  David plans to take off 2 weeks after baby arrives, I’m very happy about that.  Midwife stressed the importance of me taking it easy the first couple weeks and said if I do that, then I should heal well and get back to normal quicker.  We are hoping someone else can watch Matthew so that my mom can come to the birth and be our photographer.  I don’t plan on any graphic photos, but I want some of me in labor and tons of right after his born and also some video of just afterwards.